Do you know that Chemotherapy has agent orange agents mixed into the toxic liquid that gets pumped into veins? Well it does. Its hard to imagine how your body is going to respond to Chemo. I mean its not like there is a "What to expect when expecting" book out there but, only for chemo. Actually the first thing the doctors, nurses, and other fellow patients will say is - everyone is different. Really comforting--not so much---especially if your a control freak like me.
My first day of chemo was when I first realized I have cancer. I remember being in the backseat of my sister's van, and wondering if I was going to vomit. There were so many things going through my head just because I really didn't know how I was going to react to the chemo. As much as I hate vomiting, I had convinced myself that I was going to stick it out because it may be inevitable.
When I got off the elevator to the second floor -which is the blood draw floor- I sat amongst dozens of people. Some who had already lost their hair, some wearing masks and gloves, some who could barely walk, and others who made the ordeal seem easy. It was so surreal sitting in that waiting room. You really can't help but to stare at people. It certainly was not because I was being nosey it was more on behalf of my fear. That very moment it occurred to me that I now belong to another demographic. I have another group that I belong to--- a Warrior group. We all share the same drive, FIGHT.
As I returned to all six treatment appointments I knew of one thing, and that was to keep fighting.
With the treatments being all done my appointments are now every three months. My follow up appointment was yesterday, August 11th, and as I waited in the waiting room the fear came back. It was the same fear that I had when I didn't know what to expect.
I'm so lucky to say that my blood work came back indicating that everything is well! Great news couldn't have come on a better week! Time to go celebrate my Five year anniversary with my Amazing Husband!
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